Warning: Unedited free-flow of thought follows.

Lesse. So far, HOW has been...a little disappointing. And I think that the reason may be that I'm getting a bit older, or maybe that...I don't know. I just feel like no amount of pep talking is really going to create the opportunities, the creative opportunities that I desire. And I'm also more aware now that those opportunities are possibly something I will have to sacrifice to have a successful career. Let me refine my thinking: The place where I work, if I continue to work there, may provide me with a good, short path to a CD position. Which is good because such a position allows (theoretically) the access to power necessary to shape and be creative. But taking that path might mean sacrificing in the short- and medium-terms what I intended to move to Portland for in the first place, which was to be in a place with more creative opportunity.

Or maybe the answer is outside this intersection. There's still a feeling of hope I harbor. A feeling that something I may do could matter. Maybe I have to create the opportunity to do that, and maybe I have to grow somehow to create that opportunity. Specifically, I mean learning how to involve myself in the community somehow. But then, that itself is predicated on my available time. Maybe now that there's a new designer I'll have more of it. So. A plan, stated here as public record:
1. A 40-hour work week should be established, which would give me time to
2. involve myself in the design community more (in what capacity?), which would allow me access to
3. Search out creative opportunities

By "creative opportunity" I mean some project which will a) make me grow as a creative, or b) have a positive impact on the community. Or both.

Looks like the next session is about to start.