I like to sing my dog songs. I think she appreciates it. She has an “official” theme, even. It’s sung to the tune of “Hey Mickey” by whoever the hell sang that.

Hey Kino you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind! Hey Kino! (clap clap, clap clap) Hey Kino!

The clapping is very important. She also used to have a song for going to the dog park, sung to the tune of an eighties sit-com theme song. The show was called “Square Pegs” and starred Jessica Parker. It was about a bunch of nerds who didn’t fit in. Of course, I never watched it since I was a popular jock at the time and was busy fraternising with cheerleaders and planning the big Under the Sea Dance for homecoming or whatever. Anyways, that song went like this. The Dog Park theme is similar.

Dog park! Dog Park! Dog... Park!

Genius!
Most often I just use my tremendous improvisational skills to “make up” songs for my dog on the spot. Today's song, for instance, truly showcases these “freestyling” talents:

Don't. Push. Kino. ‘Cause. She’s. Close. To. The. Edge. She’s trying not to bite off your head. Ha-ha-ha.

I'm ready to accept my dog-song grammy.